Happy Halloween!!!

My kitty is waiting for trick or treaters on the
front porch. So far, none. Wonder what the problem is?

Another Saturday Night & I Ain't Got Nobody

So, once again, all alone on a Saturday night and I'm perusing the blogs and wind up on a naughty blog full of porn sites so what the heck, I take the plunge.

Amazing the things people are into these days. I never knew that peeing or crapping in someone's mouth was a turn on....I must not be "with it".

I saw quite a few things I liked and even learned a thing or two from a girl named Lollipop...I now call her SenSei!

I also found something I wished I hadn't. I guess if you look at porn sites long enough, this is bound to happen. I clicked on a link for an adult hook-up site for intense swingers and they have a "Rate Your Naked Pics" section where Joe Shmoe's like you and me, send in their naked pics and others vote on them.

I saw one woman who must have been in her mid 60's and a great bod so I gave her a 10 for effort. I also gave all the girls with small boobs, 10's as I can relate.

So there I am, 11:30 on a Saturday night, clicking, voting, clicking.........then it happened. There she was, in all her naked glory. A friend of mine...one I would not have expected to see, spread eagle, deep throating a popcicle right in front of the couch I've sat on.

TMI..TMI..TMI....my eyes, my eyes.....I've seen too much. How do I keep a straight face next time I see her? I didn't know she had her clit pierced!

It's a free country and she can expose herself anyway she wants but I think it's time I find myself a man and get off the porn sites, if I keep looking long enough, I'm liable to find my Mother on there.........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Now THIS is a costume!!!

Lorenzo's Oils

Ok...for balance, here's some eye candy for the guys and by a really awesome artist. His name is Lorenzo Sperlonga. I really love a piece he did called Fairy but I think the guys will like this one called Amazon.

Here's a link to his website..

http://www.lorenzosperlonga.com/home.htm

You're Invited!!

You're invited to my Pampered Chef Party - Don't start whining, just read the whole invitation.

I know how busy you all are and that you probably hate being invited to any home parties, but I assure you this is no ordinary home party. And to be honest, I haven't had a party like this in ages, and I need to update my kitchen gadgets.

Pampered Chef has come out with new consultants and products that are fabulous. Let me know which consultant you want to come to the party. I have attached samples of the new home party products...

What Is Your Favorite Scary Movie?

It's time for the networks to start running all the scary movies and I was talking to friends today about what movie was the scariest to them. Here are a few of mine.

The Omen - I was 16 and home alone for the weekend the first time I saw this movie. I had to sleep with the lights on and a baseball bat cause we all know that a louiseville slugger will surely kill satan. I noticed that in the movie, everytime someone got too close, discovered too much, they bit the big one and since I watched the movie I now knew all about who Damien was so I was sure that satan was on his way to my house to take my soul!!!




The Exorcist - Another movie I saw alone in my room, in the dark. I was more numb than scared by it but it was awesome and I became a major Linda Blair fan...must have seen Sarah T. - Potrait of a Teenage Alcoholic a million times "Stayed in bed all morning, just to pass the time, there's something wrong here there can be no denying...." ya had to see it. Father Carass was awesome too...is it wrong to be hot for a priest?



It's Alive - Watching this as an adult, it is really cheesy but at the time I was 15 and saw it in the theater with a girlfriend and that damn devil baby with fangs would make these horrible sounds and crawl around on the floor to sneak up on it's prey so we kept thinking that damn baby was crawling along the theater floor...I swear I stopped babysitting for infants after that movie!




The Shining - Jack Nicholson was the best at being a creepy husband and those twins, the blood, the old lady in the bathtub, REDRUM! REDRUM!....Here's Johnny! Excellent film, good scary stuff....but if you want to see The Shining in a different light....go here..oh, the men will like this site BTW.

http://www.askmen.com/video/2005_oct/oct15_shining_redux.html


So...tell us...what is your favorite scary movie?????

Supersize Me, the Sequel

Morgan Spurlock is now after the dogfood industry!

Trick or Treat!

5,843 Intrusions?

Screw your intrusions you impotent little spyware worms. I just got XoftSpy and wiped your little asses off my computer. I'll be scanning for your little klingons daily!

It's Monday

Geppetto's Marionettes

Today, on Meet the Press, Kay Bailey Hutchinson called perjury a mere technicality in the CIA leak investigation.

However, on February 12, 1999, she said this about Clinton and perjury: Willful, corrupt, and false sworn testimony before a Federal grand jury is a separate and distinct crime under applicable law and is material and perjurious if it is `capable' of influencing the grand jury in any matter before it, including any collateral matters that it may consider. See, Title 18, Section 1623, U.S. Code, and Federal court cases interpreting that Section.The President's testimony before the Federal grand jury was fully capable of influencing the grand jury's investigation and was clearly perjurious.

Kay Bailey Hutchison. She sounds like a flip-flopper to me. So, per her dwarfed logic it is OK for a Republican to commit perjury but not for a Democrat.

By the way, that perjury is a mere technicality seems to be the latest talking point from today's GOP. It is important to remember what today's leaders said about perjury 6 years ago: Here is what George W Bush said about perjury: Texas Gov. George W. Bush, cranking up his still-unofficial run for the White House, said on Tuesday he would have voted to impeach President Clinton for lying about his affair with Monica Lewinsky. In response to a reporter's question, Bush said he supported impeachment for a simple reason: "The man lied.

Here is what the video tape doctor and the ethically challenged Bill Frist said about perjury: There is no serious question that perjury and obstruction of justice are high crimes and misdemeanors.

Blackstone's famous Commentaries--widely read by the framers of the Constitution--put perjury on equal footing with bribery as a crime against the state. Perjury was understood to be as serious as bribery, which is specifically mentioned in the Constitution as a ground for impeachment.

Today, we punish perjury and obstruction of justice at least as severely as we punish bribery. Apparently, the seriousness of perjury and obstruction of justice has not diminished over time. Indeed, our own Senate precedent establishes that perjury is a high crime and misdemeanor. The Senate has removed seven federal judges from office.

On days like today, I wonder what happened to the GOP. It used to be the party that stood for fiscal conservatism. And more importantly, it used to be the party that stood for law and order. And now we have Republican senators who on national television (with a straight face) are declaring that perjury is a mere technicality! Why even have a court system when it apparently is not important if people tell the truth or not in court?

I expect this attitude from a guy but...

I had an interesting conversation with a woman last night. She's married to a friend of mine who visits me now and then. Were just buds, always have been. Anyway, she was telling me how this woman down the street from them is trying to be friendly to "Bob" and that she asks him down to help her around the house now and then and it's making her furious and I said to her, well you don't mind when he spends half the day driving up here to see me and even stays overnight now and then and she said,

"yeah but you're fat...no offense."

Yeah, I am, so what? I could still screw your husbands brains out.

She laughed at me and said, "Livi, I love you and you're my friend but be honest here, you're fat and men don't like fat chicks...so you're "safe".

So apparently I am a "safe" woman to allow around your men. I can't remember the last time I was that insulted, nor can I remember the last time I ran into such a naive woman.

True, most men would not marry a fat chick, but most would still have sex with one and virtually all of them would accept a blow job from them.

So listen up skinny bitches, we fat chicks may not be able to take your man but we sure can give him what he needs and wants and mostly likely what he isn't getting at home.

The Thinker Has A Thought....

I've been thinking and thinking.....
He's not just bad for the country, he is an everyday, day in and day out, obvious as the sun, freaking disaster.

It seems to me to still support this buffoon, you would have to be of a mental condition to require directions in the effective use of a doorknob. How is it possible he has even 39% approval?

Curious indeed.

The Sniper.....a little humor for you

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!"

"No, I'm not! " he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window."

"Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her...... He's naked, too!!! That bitch!"

He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?" "Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth." "Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."

I want I want I want!!!

Isn't it cute??? Let's see, I wonder how much it costs and if I have enough money in my purse?

Actually I got a new car today, a 2006 Suzuki Grand Vitara, Silver...it's not as cute as the Hello Kitty car though.

Shhhh..........

Be vewy, vewy qwiet, I'm hunting Scientologists!

I gave into an indulgence today and bought a copy of People magazine and there it is on page 66 (it should be 666 since I truly feel Tom Cruise is the spawn of Satan) a stupid story about how Scientology requires Silent Births. No screaming or even uttering of words because and I quote "words spoken during birth may be recorded in a child's subconscious mind and can cause unwanted emotions and irrational fears later in life." Lord have mercy, what will these alien loving freaks think of next?

Well, ok, let's go with it. If these uttered words indeed can be recorded and understood later in life, let's use this to our advantage....never too soon to brainwash that brat of yours is it?

List of words or phrases to scream during child birth...

1. Vote Democrat
2. Clean your room
3. Homework is fun
4. Broccoli is yummy
5. Blogging rocks

Anyone care to add to the list???

When Did I Get So Old????

This was a man who melted my butter as a teenager...funny, he doesn't look like I remember him. Welcome to age 50 Dave. What the hell happened???? David Lee Roth will be taking over for Howard Stern when he goes to Satellite Radio.








Now this is how I remember Diamond Dave. Hubba hubba!

Going, going, gone...

You have a path in front of you. A map with the route clearly marked, you're on your way.

Then like an idiot, something different is dangled in front of you and you ignore that map, go after what's behind door #3 and take one wrong turn after another. What distracted you turned out to be crap and you knew it would but you keep going.

You keep second guessing yourself, "Is this right? It doesn't feel right" yet you keep going. Years pass and still you keep going knowing deep down that you screwed up big, you made all the wrong turns, all the wrong decisions and everything that was waiting for you on the right path is now gone. You don't want to face that. You're getting old and tired. Too tired, so you just keep going on that same wrong path, farther and farther into the void.

Fall of 93. That's when I turned off my path. Some idiot jerks try to tell you, "Hey, it's never too late to turn back, life's a do'over, let a smile be your umbrella." and you just want to slap the shit out of them because you know that the things you wanted that were yours, yours to keep, yours to lose are lost...gone, can't get them back, impossible.

Fall of 93 for me........when did you take that wrong path?

"What the heart has onced owned and had, it shall never lose.""~Henry Ward Beecher - LIAR!

Funny, the things that run through your mind when your washer breaks down.

Bigfoot Conference in Texas Draws Hundreds
By ANGELA K. BROWN Associated Press Writer

JEFFERSON, Texas (AP) -- Next to a lifelike replica of a giant ape head, the believers milled around tables Saturday covered with casts of large footprints, books about nature's mysteries and T-shirts proclaiming "Bigfoot: Often Imitated, Never Invalidated."

While they can have a sense of humor about it, the search for the legendary Sasquatch is no joke for many of the nearly 400 people who came here to discuss the latest sightings and tracking techniques at the Texas Bigfoot Conference.

"It's not a matter of believing, like faith, when you believe in something you can't see," said Daryl G. Colyer, a Lorena businessman who has investigated hundreds of reported Bigfoot sightings in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana.

"It's a flesh-and-blood animal that just has not been discovered yet. And I think we're getting closer and closer and closer," Colyer said.

Outlandish theories about the origin of Bigfoot abound, including that it might be an extraterrestrial. Many believe that a towering, ape-like creature descended from a prehistoric 9- to 10-foot-tall gorilla called a Gigantopithecus, and that it now inhabits North American forests.

Hoaxes have been a large part of the making of the Bigfoot legend. California construction company owner Ray L. Wallace donned 16-inch wooden feet to create tracks in mud in 1958, and it led to a front-page story in a local paper that coined the term "Bigfoot."

But there have been more than 2,550 seemingly credible Bigfoot sightings reported in North America the past century, according to Christopher L. Murphy's 2004 book "Meet the Sasquatch."

Murphy believes thousands more witnesses are too afraid of ridicule to come forward.
"You see one of these things and it changes your whole perception of reality," said Craig Woolheater, the office manager of a Dallas company who co-founded the Texas Bigfoot Research Center in 1999, five years after he said he saw a hairy creature walking along a remote Louisiana road.

Colyer and others estimate that about 2,000 are in North America today, reclusive nocturnal animals living in thickly wooded areas with waterways, eating meat and plants and making nests out of trees and brush.

Pictures and film footage are often disputed, such as the 1967 footage of a creature walking near a California creek. Most evidence centers on hundreds of casts of footprints collected since the 1950s.

Jimmy Chilcutt, a retired fingerprint analysis expert for the Conroe Police Department, said many of the hundreds of prints he examined belonged to a primate, but not a human, ape, gorilla or chimpanzee.

Like Chilcutt, other well-respected professionals have come forward to say such evidence should not be dismissed.

"To me it's still an open question, but here's some evidence that warrants some serious consideration, so give it a chance," said Jeff Meldrum, associate professor of anatomy and anthropology at Idaho State University who has studied more than 150 casts of footprints. "This is not a paranormal question; it's a biological question."


I live in the mountains, I see bigfoots everywhere. At the Bear Claw Saloon, The Stockade, Goodwins grocery. Big ol hairy things in overalls...yep, they exist.

1193 More Days Of Shit Like This

His hand had been blown off in Iraq, his body pierced by shrapnel. He could not walk. Robert Loria was flown home for a long recovery at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, where he tried to bear up against intense physical pain and reimagine his life's possibilities.

The last thing on his mind, he said, was whether the Army had correctly adjusted his pay rate -- downgrading it because he was out of the war zone -- or whether his combat gear had been accounted for properly: his Kevlar helmet, his suspenders, his rucksack.

But nine months after Loria was wounded, the Army garnished his wages and then, as he prepared to leave the service, hit him with a $6,200 debt. That was just before last Christmas, and several lawmakers scrambled to help. This spring, a collection agency started calling. He owed another $646 for military housing.

"I was shocked," recalled Loria, now 28 and medically retired from the Army. "After everything that went on, they still had the nerve to ask me for money."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/10/13/AR2005101302166.html

Homeless or Jesus?

You decide. Here's a game where you get to choose from the pic if it's Jesus or a homeless guy.....click the link to play!

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/games/homeless_jesus.asp

Watch Out For The Camel Toads

Well not this kind of camel, I won't post a pic of the kind I really mean. Check out this "Dear......." column. Here's the link and a pic of the link.



http://mail.charter.net/agent/mobmain?mobmain=1

Yikes...it's a MOBA

Here's the perfect combination of dog and ski slope. The Museum of Bad Art...need I say more? Here's the link if you want more laughs and torture. http://www.museumofbadart.org/

Isn't he a hottie ladies? Or gents too, I'm open minded. If you want the calendar, here's the link.
http://www.calendars.com/xq/asp/TID.{3DEEB47F-1B3D-43FF-A17D-A53803ABFFCD}/PID.1/MGID.3517/IID.21333/qx/product.htm

A pic of Lenny Kravitz, no reason, he's just hot and I thought it might increase the hits on my blog...lol

Incredibly Stupid Americans Caught On Tape

This is truly sad and embarrassing. Watch the video and pay close attention to the map the reporter is holding. http://www.aztlan.net/stupid_americans.htm

Bill Maher on Bush's cronies

From New Rules at the end of last night's show...

George Bush must meet some new people.

You know, when Americans see their president giving every job to the same old cronies, they use words like loyal-to-a-fault and stubborn and close-minded...lives in a bubble, sock puppet. Asshole. Worst president ever.

But they're missing the point. The problem isn't his political philosophy (kill people and animals and take their gas). The problem is he has to expand his circle of friends beyond his mom, Karen Hughes, and the House of Saud. Which is why before George Bush makes another political appointment, he has to join Friendster.

This week President Bush had to nominate a Supreme Court judge, and he picked the most qualified person within 30 feet of his office. Her qualifications? Well, she *is* a lawyer and former commissioner of the Texas state lottery and she's seen every episode of Judging Amy. Abortion, affirmative action, separation of church and state...yeah, let's ask the lady who peddled scratch tickets to liquor stores. Does he just go with the first person he sees? I wouldn't be surprised if Laura was his sister. Now of course George Bush isn't the first politician to hand out graft gigs to his pals. But he doesn't seem to understand that that's what the bullshit jobs are for: ambassador to the Bahamas, the Recycling Czar, Head of the CIA.

But George Bush puts stooges where they can do real damage. Director of FEMA? That guy from the Horsey Show's available. UN ambassador? Dick Cheney knows a guy with a moustache and anger issues. Supreme Court Justice? Lady down the hall. Labor Secretary? The guy that helped me move that hooker's body at Yale could probably do it.

Ya know, Mr. President, when you got elected, we all figured you were no genius, but smart enough to hire qualified people. But it turns out you're just a dimwit who enjoys feeling superior. And the only way to accomplish that is to surround yourself with the likes of Mike Brown and Harriet Miers -- Goober and Aunt Bee. Unspectacular souls who make you feel comfortable and unthreatened. Kind of like when Madonna used to hang out with Rosie O'Donnell. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but real friends are the ones who tell you the truth. They're also the ones who work hard so as not to embarrass you. These people who work for you aren't behaving like friends. They're behaving far worse. They're behaving like family.

Yes, it's almost enough to make you miss the old pre-"honor and integrity" days. Because at least when Clinton talked about tapping the woman down the hall, he was just having sex with her.

Our New Leader?

""In 2008 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule."

Could he really do worse than Bush? Vote Zod in 2008.

http://www.zod2008.com/

Father?

All I wanna know is which one is in the cage?

Now That's Just Nuts!

BOSTON - Gregg Miller mortgaged his home and maxed out his credit cards to mass produce his invention — prosthetic testicles for neutered dogs.

What started 10 years ago with an experiment on an unwitting Rottweiler named Max has turned into a thriving mail-order business. And on Thursday night Miller's efforts earned him a dubious yet strangely coveted honor: the Ig Nobel Prize for medicine." Considering my parents thought I was an idiot when I was a kid, this is a great honor," he said. " I wish they were alive to see it."

The Ig Nobels, given at Harvard University by Annals of Improbable Research magazine, celebrate the humorous, creative and odd side of science. Miller has sold more than 150,000 of his Neuticles, more than doubling his $500,000 investment. The silicone implants come in different sizes, shapes, weights and degrees of firmness. The product's Web site says Neuticles allow a pet "to retain his natural look" and "self esteem."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051007/ap_on_fe_st/ig_nobels

The Sociopath Next Door

I recently purchased this book by Martha Stout, PHD because I think I have one next to me, not here at home, but at work. Statistics state that 100 times more people are sociopaths than there are people diagnosed with colon cancer which is about 1 in 25. These cold, manipulative people without conscience are loose among us; no signs, nothing and I think I have one near me at work. I will call her Marion Crane after the character in Psycho, not that she was a true sociopath, I just like the name.

"Marion" is showing many of the signs. There are seven.

1. Failure to conform to social norms (I like this one).
2. Deceitfullness, manipulativeness.
3. Impulsivity, failure to plan ahead.
4. Irritability, aggressiveness.
5. Reckless disregard for the safety of self and others.
6. Consistant irresponsibility.
7. Lack of remorse after hurting, stealing or mistreating another person.

To have any 3 of these symptoms suggests sociopathic mentality. She has all seven.

This is why I purchased this book, it's a survival manual at this point as I think this crazy bitch is out to get me fired so she can move up the ladder. Now I've run across many people like this in my cut throat business but not like Marion, she is the type I could easily see winding up on the 11 o'clock news as the top story. For example, someone recently stole something of hers and today she left her notebook open and I had to get a file from her desk and the page was filled with ideas for how to murder this individual...really sick ways like a drawing of the person being blugeoned to death by the item that was stolen and about 20 different other ideas.

Also she lies constantly, is always late yet never tells the boss about it, takes credit for work she didn't do, recently gave secret pics of something our company will sell next year to her colleagues from her previous employer which is a competitor, steals from work and sets others up to look bad. How does she do this and keep her job? Good question, she has all the managers snowed. It's pure deceit and manipulation and she is a pro at it. Perhaps if it weren't effecting me nagatively, I might even admire her skills but she is just way off the deep end. She recently went on a trip and forgot to feed her cat before she left. She was gone 3 days and didn't give it a second thought, it was just a cat and she kinda thought it was neat how much weight it lost. One sick bitch.

So, I hope this book saves me but if there are any experts on how to deal with a sociopath out there reading this, feel free to respond with survival tactics!

Here come those Santa Ana winds again....

It's that time here in SoCal and I'm lucky to be home right now. I left work at 4pm, got home at 8:40pm. I drove as far as I could then the highway signs lit up with warnings of high winds then overturned semi's and blocked roads so I pulled off and shopped, then ate hoping it would clear up, it never did. I had to back track and find another way home. Coming up the mountain was awful, tree branches, rocks, tumbleweeds and idiots blowing all over the highway. Here's a tip, hold onto the wheel with both hands, oh and slow down a bit. Hope all this wind clears the pine needles off my roof so I don't have to pay someone to do it. http://www.usatoday.com/weather/wsanta.htm

But I'd Go To Jail & I'm Too Pretty For Jail

Who walks the stairs without a care
It shoots so high in the sky.
Bounce up and down just like a clown.
Everyone knows its Slinky.
It's Slinky, It’s Slinky
it's such a wonderful toy
It's Slinky, It’s Slinky
it's fun for a girl and a boy.

Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs. Oh how I wanted to push 2 people down a very long flight of stairs today. Two rats who make my life miserable. Where are some very long stairways anyway? Statue of Liberty? Too far. The Capitol? Too close to Bush for me. Ooh the ones Rocky ran up in Philly? No, not steep enough. These in San Francisco will do (thanks SisterBetty) nice drop! One can dream of their twisted, mangled bodies at the foot of the stairs, can't one?

and then I woke up...

I was having a lovely dream this morning, just me standing over my toilet, flushing what was floating at the top. It was going good then a loud truck drove by and woke me up. Shame too, the deed was almost done.

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

I'm allergic to oranges. What they do to me is beyond torture and my friends know this so for fun they like to tease me about my orange phobia which is why Krazy Lazy Dazey sent this picture to me. Creepy looking aren't they? Poison, pure posion!