Tuesday, January 22, 2008

RIP Heath (1979-2008)

It had to be an accident, how could anyone deliberately leave this precious little girl? A sad day indeed.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Happy 50th Smurfs!

The Smurfs turned 50 today. They were first created in Belgium in 1958 by Peyo but the US cartoon started in 1981. Smurfette and Gargamel were my favorites. I had a Smurfette doll sitting in the back window of my blue 1975 Camero in my senior year of high school...they were the bomb.

Look At These Precious Angels

How could she not do everything in her power to be with them?

Lose the married paparazzi, stay away from Starbucks and get your shit together.
These angels deserve a decent mother.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Oscar & Arthur

This is a beautiful yet creepy story about the unconditional love between a dog and a cat. Oscar the dog and Arthur the cat were best of friends. They were inseparable. When 17-year-old Arthur kicked the bucket Oscar didn't know what to do with himself. Arthur's owners buried him in their garden.

Oscar must have seen this, because in the dead of night he went out into the garden and dug Arthur up. He carried Arthur to the basket they shared and gently cleaned him up. The owners found Oscar curled up next to Arthur's dead body the next morning.

The owners have securely buried Arthur and got Oscar a new kitten playmate named Limpet. Nobody will replace Arthur. You hear that Limpet? NOBODY! You can purr the purr and show off your cuteness, but Oscar's heart will always be with Arthur.

Nothing like a story about a dog licking a dead cat to warm the cockles of your heart.

The Triumphant Return Of Paula Abdul!

The Super Bowl may be bringing real talent to their halftime show. TV Guide's Michael Ausiello reports that Paula Abdul is in talks with Fox to perform during the Super Bowl. Paula may perform her new song with fellow American Idol judge Randy Jackson. They are in rehearsals for the video right now. It's off his upcoming Music Vol. 1 CD.

If this news is true Paula will be joining Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Mary .J Blige and Maroon 5 as Super Bowl performers.

I will only be into this if Paula scraps her duet with Randy and instead performs her greatest hits wearing her old outfits like the one above. They can brush Arsenio Hall off from whatever tomb he's living in and bring him back as Scat Cat. They also need to liquor Paula up before the performance and turn off her backtrack. Paula singing live and drunk would be the best show ever.

I'm guessing this is all just a rumor and not happening. That means they better get a camera crew over to wherever Paula's at, because when she learns she isn't doing the Super Bowl she's going to have an epic meltdown. She doesn't take bad news lightly.
Where's God when you need him?

Meth Head Sues Dealer And Wins!

23-year-old Sandy Bergen from Saskatchewan, Canada sued her meth dealer and won. Sandy and her family filed the lawsuit in 2005 after she overdosed, had a heart attack and was in a coma for 11 days. Sandy developed a heart condition that leaves her tired constantly and may effect her having children in the future.

Sandy wants $50,000 in damages and medical expenses. A hearing will determine how much dough she actually gets. Good luck in trying to collect from a drug dealer.

Sandy said she has taken responsiblity for her actions and wants him to take responsiblity for his. "I think that's taking responsibility for my actions, I don't think I need to take responsibility for both of our actions. He should have to meet me half way and that's what this lawsuit was about."

"I think it's a different way to hit drug dealers financially and that's where it will really hurt them."

There's hope for Amy Winehouse and Britney after all. If they ever need money they can sue their dealers. Actually Brit can sue Starbucks. Then she will own Starbucks and all her dreams will come true. Starbrits.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

A sad version of Frosty The Snowman

Damn funny stuff

I got my Landover Baptist Church news letter today and it reminded me of a speech from Pastor Fred and I wanted to share it....enjoy....LOL

Saturday, December 01, 2007

What kind of crappy present am I?

You Are a Fruitcake!

You taste like nothing else in this world.

And get ready, you're about to get tossed!

Friday, November 30, 2007

The ultimate BOGO for Suri

Sassy Suri is getting a BOGO most of us will never get. Ok, so they won't be from Payless.
OK magazine reports that Katie Holmes has asked Christian Louboutin to design and make a custom pair of shoes for Suri Cruise. Custom Louboutins will run about $3,000 and up a pair. 18-month-old Suri has already had a mold made of her feet for her custom shoes. They will be ready by Christmas.

A source said, “She’ll be the youngest client."

Those aren't custom shoes! Those shoes contain a secret code that will allow her on to the mothership when Xenu comes to town. LOL
Seriously, at some point, almost all celebrities come to a moment in their lives where they completely lose touch with reality for good. This is their moment.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

I'm back...now about Marie

Found my password, wrote it in 3 different places...were back in business.

Marie Osmond Dolls.....

Ok, I supported Marie Osmond during this seasons Dancing With The Stars. I was right there with her during her fainting spell, her fathers death and the re-hab outting of her under age son who should have had anonimity and privacy but I also feel these things were what kept her on the show so long but now, I'm a little disturbed...see for yourself.

Marie Osmond is hawking 6 "Dancing with the Stars" dolls on QVC. Each doll wears an outfit Marie wore on the reality show. People reports that 2 dolls have already went on sale and sold out. 4 other dolls are currently on pre-order to be shipped out in February. They will set you back around $90.

SCREW THAT! I'd rather have a Talking Tina doll in my house than a creepy Marie doll. Remember the Talking Tina doll from Twilight Zone? Anyway, it just feels like she's cashing in on everything, the good and the bad. Is it just me? What do you think?

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Pussy of Death!

This is Oscar

Oscar the Cat is a resident pussy at a nursing home in Providence, RI. Staff members at the nursing home claim that Oscar can predict when a patient is going to pass away by curling up next to them in their final hours. Oscar has done this 25 times.

Dr. Dosa of the nursing home said, "He doesn't make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die. Many family members take some solace from it. They appreciate the companionship that the cat provides for their dying loved one."

When Oscar starts getting cozy next to a patient, the staff rings up their family and lets them know it's time.

That's one deadly pussy!

Monday, July 16, 2007


I figured it out, I figured out my DAMN FRICKIN password. Geez!!

Smoochies smoochies, I missed my blog...hug hug hug blog!!!!

Now....what to post about......more later, I have to go tattoo my password onto my ass so I don't forget it again!


Thursday, March 08, 2007

One of Many Heroes

The Caption Says: Air Force Chief Master Sgt. John Gebhardt, of the 332nd Expeditionary Medical Group at Balad, Iraq, cradles a young girl as they both sleep in the hospital. The girl's entire family was executed by insurgents; the killers shot her in the head as well. The girl received treatment at the US military hospital in Balad, but cries and moans often. According to nurses at the facility, Gebhardt is the only one who can calm down the girl, so he has spent the last several nights holding her while they both sleep in a chair.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Thank God

Gwen Stefani confirmed that she will reunite with No Doubt to record a new album due out next year. Their last full, original studio album was “Rock Steady” in 2001. Since then Gwen has been busy pushing out a baby and pushing out two solo albums.

She said, “I got an idea in my head about what we could do and now that’s all I can think about - doing a No Doubt record.”
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!!!
Can you tell I was not a fan of her solo crap?

Sunday, February 18, 2007

All I can say is Wow!

This woman is getting 2 years in prison for throwing a cup of ice into someone elses car. 2 years. There are convicted child molesters getting less time than this....sickening.

McMissile Getting 2 years

Saturday, February 17, 2007

This is such bullshit....

How to fall in love ....

Find a complete stranger.

Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.

Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for 4 minutes.

York psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun, has been studying why people fall in love.
He asked his subjects to carry out the above 3 steps and found that many of his couples felt deeply attracted after the 34 minute experiment. Two of his subjects later got married.

Get Real!!!!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I'm a Fucking Idiot!

Yep, that should be me on the cover. Remember earlier when I said that my friends are always looking to me for advice and if only they knew how clueless I was? Well, once again I let myself get sucked into someone elses problem, "Help me Livi, please, I need you" and I did and now she hates me and won't speak to me. I know that's what usually happens, ungrateful people suck you dry then toss you aside but not before blaming you for everything that ever went wrong in their entire life.
Why? Why do I let myself get in involved? Why do I agree to play Miss Dear Abby when I know I'll just get burned? What a sucky day, no chocolate and I had maybe an hours sleep last night because I was up all night writing the apology to end all apology letters ( even though I was right ) only to get no response from her all day.
Trust me on this...never ever give anyone any advice (ack, there I go giving advice again), never ever agree to help them with their problems...they will only fuck you in the end...without lube!!!!!!!
Update: We made up......lol

Monday, February 12, 2007

Broken Heart Day

The grid of hearts represents a sort of story quilt. Each heart, broken or whole, represents an important part of the person's story. I have many broken hearts, very few whole ones. Who's fault is that? My own I guess, still sucks though.

Why? Why do they make a holiday like this? I mean if you're happy you don't need a reason to celebrate other than your own happiness so this day is really about reminding the rest of us how unloved and unwanted we are. Happy, In case ya didn't know it, no one wants your ass, day! But here, here are some chocolates to make your unwanted ass even bigger so it will never be wanted...enjoy, I think this one has nuts in it. We need to take all the happy, loved people and ship them off to Siberia and then it will be safe to come out of our homes and know were mingling with our own kind. Who knows, maybe then we could find each other and be happy too.

So Happy Valentines Day to the unloved and unwanted...will you be my Valentine?

So What Now?

As you may have noticed, I rarely post anymore. I'm just so tired and stretched in so many directions that what use to be a stress outlet is now a stress just to think about so I asked myself, why did I first start to blog? Well, I did it to vent but as time went on I vented less and less and became an entertainer. Yes, I love to laugh and I like posting funny and bizarre crap. But also as time has gone on I have 3 other blogs plus a myspace page and I don't really vent on any of them mainly because I don't want to bore anybody with my whining and because as much as I want things to change, I can't figure out how to change them so what's the point, right?

Who am I? Where am I going? What do I want out of life? I haven't a clue. I'm loose on the highway without a Thomas Guide asking people who are just as lost as I am, how to get there. I find it funny that most of my close friends see me as the voice of reason, their pillar of strength, the one with all the answers...if they only had a clue....lol

So....what the hell am I going to post on here or should I just say fuck it and dump the whole thing? Naaaa, I'd just miss it and make yet another one. I do think i'll vent more though, it feels good even if it does bore people. Hell for all I know it might make others not feel so bad for being as lost as I am or better yet, maybe someone out there with a kickass GPS will help me find my way.


Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Q: How long does it take to drive from Houston to Orlando?
A: It Depends

Monday, February 05, 2007

In Case You Missed The Super Bowl...

Here's the whole game summed up in one picture.