Tuesday, January 31, 2006



Going into tonight's predictable speech, I find this historical quote stuck in my head like a nagging tune:
------
"Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind. And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded by patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader and gladly so. How do I know? For this is what I have done. And I am Caesar."

Sunday, January 29, 2006


Omen 666 - Why why why?
Their remaking the Omen which really didn't need to be remade in my opinion. Mia Farrow is playing Mrs. Baylock. Wonder if she'll be as creepy as Billie Whitelaw. That was one creepy lady. It also stars Julia Stiles.
-------------

Master G.

Yo, where da white women at?

Saturday, January 28, 2006


Reno Sings Respect

This is almost too painful to watch.....almost!

Me? Bettie Page?

You are Bettie Page
Girl next door with a wild streakYou're a famous beauty - with unique lookAnd the people like you are cultish about it


Hmmmm...I don't see myself as Bettie Page, that's Velma....right?

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Friends Forever

Yesss! The cast of Friends have all signed on to do four 1 hour special episodes next fall and being a Friends fan, this makes me happy. I don't have any details yet but I look forward to more lines like "Oh and just so ya know, It's not all that common, it doesn't happen to every guy and it is a big deal" and "Oh...My...Gawd!" and "He's her lobster" and songs like "Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you." and "Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo.Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, and that's how we get hamburgers. Now, chickens!"

Tuesday, January 24, 2006



Jury Duty II

Ok, so jury duty ain't bad. First off I didn't have to be there till 12:30 so I got to sleep in, then they dismissed my group at 1:15 so I spent the rest of the day lunching and shopping with friends...works for me!

Monday, January 23, 2006


Tomorrow I have jury duty....boooooo! I hate jury duty. Sitting with a bunch of germy strangers who will all have the flu I promise you. So I searched for some helpful hints on how to make my stay a short one and thought I'd share.

How to get out of jury duty....

Don't reply: If and when you receive a jury duty letter, there will surely be a warning, stating that failure to return the form is a criminal offense and you might incur a penalty. The chance could be worth taking, as it's likely that you'll simply be removed from the process and not even receive a follow-up request.
If the authorities want to penalize you, they'll have to prove that you received the letter in the first place -- which is done by signing a registered letter. As long as you don't sign it, you're likely in the clear. Those who don't return the form might include people who were on vacation, have moved, or simply didn't pick up their mail. So if anyone wants to penalize you, be sure to show 'em your tan. By returning the letter, your name is placed in future random selection processes for potential jurors.

Are you objective?: If you are selected and receive a summons, then you are about to embark on another kind of trial, only this one consists of questions and answers to ensure you fit as a jury member for a particular case. The prosecutor, lawyer and maybe even a judge will interview you and evaluate your responses and reactions. Now of course, each side wants to make sure you are untainted and bias-free, and will offer an objective verdict. Here's where you need to use your acting abilities, especially if the case is described to you.

You know, that happened to my cousin's ex-boyfriend: If the legal staff explains the case, jog your memory for someone you know who may have been in a similar situation. If the trial is about harassment or car theft, for example, and you say that you know all about that sort of thing because it happened to a relative or a friend, you'll be deemed biased and likely disqualified.

Show prejudice: When asked questions, exaggerate your mannerisms and actions. The prosecution and defense might be inclined to choose a potential juror who is on "their side," and if you show any signs of negative subjectivity, you'll be out of there. Helpful hint: shake your head from side to side and make sounds of horror (i.e. "gasp", "tsk tsk") when told anything about the trial.

You know the witnesses: At some point before the case, the judge might read out the names of the witnesses involved with the case. Here's your chance to namedrop and proclaim, "I know Doctor Smith! He lives right next door!" If you're caught in a lie, no sweat, just say it must be another Dr. Smith (don't try this if the doctor's name is Hergovinowitz).
You know the areaSimilarly, if the crime occurred in your neighborhood, tell the legal staff that there's a strong chance you'll recognize one of the witnesses, or worse (actually better yet), the defendant.

Medical reasons: This is perhaps the most effective way to get out of jury duty: a medical problem. You might be required to prove your "condition" with a doctor's note, but something like severe migraines or stress can be enough to dismiss you. As long as the note convinces those working on the trial that you can't work long hours due to health reasons, and/or you have a condition that could impede your involvement, you're likely to be disqualified. If you can't get a medical note, take it further and say that you have to tend to your very ill relative and can't afford to be away all day, for an indeterminate amount of time.

Fake a hearing problem: This one's a spin-off of the medical condition; pretend you can't hear. Simply stare at whoever's asking the questions as if you didn't catch a word, and respond with "pardon me?" every time.

Look like a mess: When you show up for the day of questioning, appear as though you literally rolled out of bed. Bonus marks for pretending to doze off during the questions.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Blog of the day....


Post Secret


I've been highly entertained by
this blog for quite some time now
and it just keeps getting better.
Real or made up, it truly shows
the rawness of peoples minds.
What they experience, what they
dream, what they fear, what they
live, day to day.

If you haven't already, check it out.





Post Secrets

Saturday, January 21, 2006

This is cool!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006



A scandal is about to break in Washington...
All of the evidence is not in, but it appears

that Secretary of State Rice may have slept
with President Bush. I will send details when
they become available. All I have now is this
photograph...thanks Debby!!!

Don't Press The Red Button

Monday, January 16, 2006

Cake please



My birthday is this week. I envy people who enjoy their birthdays. They are usually happy with where they are at in their lives. Unfortunately for me, I always use birthdays to reflect back and imagine the future, never a good thing but it's a habit.

On the way home tonight I saw a red 93 Paseo and the worst time in my life flashed before my eyes. I left my husband in 93 because all we did was fight and I'd had enough. I turned 30, got cocky, bought that red flashy Paseo and in my best Joanna Everheart voice decided "I could do better" and left. I was happy, healthy, at my thinnest with platinum long blonde hair, short skirts and high heels, on the prowl and having a blast.

Then I met him, the man I fell madly in love with and spent the next 5 years living with. He told me he loved me everyday. Talked about marriage often. Talked, and talked and talked. Days turned into months, turned into years and when he could no longer take my "pushing" (like waiting 5 years is pushing) he comes clean and tells me he never loved me and never wanted to get married. He stayed and lied because he never had any woman treat him so well but now he's met a 20 year old asian gymnast whose grandfather just died and left her $4 mil. Now that's true love. All his needs were being met. It never occurred to him that he was wasting my life, the best years. He stole 30-36 from me, actually to 38 because it took that long to get over him and to trust again and I never did meet Mr. Right, never had kids and here I am celebrating another empty birthday. I hate birthdays.

My ex husband is happily remarried and I'm happy for him, after all it was I who did the leaving in the fire swamp (inside joke) so I have to live with that decision.

Which R do I feel after leaving him? (another inside joke) Regret, regret that we didn't go to counseling and make it work. Regret that I'm childless...the single, most enormous mistake of my life. One I regret numerous times each day. AND DON'T YOU DARE REPLY WITH SOME SUNNY-SIDE UP CRAPPY REPLY LIKE "But it's never too late, you could meet the man of your dreams tomorrow and make babies or adopt" and be 62+ at it's high school graduation? I don't think so. I'm just using this post to vent...as free therapy. It was eating away at me tonight and I needed to purge....so there...it's out. I feel better...well, a little.

Anyway, I've decided that this will be my last acknowledged birthday, I plan to forget the date, not remind a soul and just stop having them, then I won't have that time to dwell on my lifes mistakes...it's just not healthy.

So, happy last birthday to me, happy last birthday to me, happy last birthday dear Livi, happy last birthday to me.....and never more!!!!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Height Chart for Women

Friday, January 13, 2006


Before....

After...WTF happened?

I feel sad for her. I hope she get's it together before it's too late.
















We are expecting snow tomorrow so I hired a couple
of gals from 1 800 SNO-BLOW to shovel my driveway.
Their rates were awful high. Wonder why?

Thursday, January 12, 2006

I'm told this is a quarter horse...lol
(The other half of this horse is in Washington D.C.)

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

We interrupt this post.......

Ok, I had something strange and interesting planned last night but it wasn't meant to be. I found a bizarre story of a man who's suing a movie studio because they are making a movie about his life as a cannibal and he thinks their version is in "bad taste".
Soooo I went in search of pics about cannibalism to accompany my post and that's when it happened.

I typed cannibals in google and one thing lead to another and before I knew it I was on a cannibal-sex dating site which then led to bizarre sex site and then I wound up in pop-up hell. No matter how many times I clicked off a page, it or a new one would pop back up and some of them didn't have x's in the top corner so you couldn't close them unless you ctrl/alt/del over and over.

But this wasn't the worst part. I'm sitting there watching this pop up hell, not even touching the computer anymore and sites of child pornography popped up. Kids about 6-12 years of age. I just sat there with my mouth open not knowing what to do so I called the police. I thought that someone should track these creeps down and help these kids but they told me that they were aware of it and they had special forces just for child pornography and giving them the web addresses was all I could do and they would investigate. Unfortunately, these pages didn't show web addy's, they were hidden...all except for one but they knew all about that one.

I felt helpless to help these kids and their faces stayed with me all night. I knew this stuff went on but not to this extent and there doesn't seem to be an effective recourse either.

Anyway, I lost my mood for humor and it's too dang cold for HNT so this is it folks. Keep a close eye on your kids and be careful what you search for on the web, you just might get it and then some.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Coming Soon To A Theater Near You

Saturday, January 07, 2006



Have you seen me?

I was kitnapped by evil people
who take sleazy pictures of me
for kitty porn sites.

They must be stopped.

Call 1 800 CAT-PORN if you have any information. $REWARD$

Friday, January 06, 2006

Name that character......let's play a game. I'm going to give you the names of characters from movies, books or tv show and you tell us what movie, book or tv shows their from. Now since google is out there, you can use it BUT, only for your own curiosity. Tell us only about which ones you got on your own. Bonus points for telling us who played the role, sharing something interesting or a quote from the character too.

Here we go...

1. Toby Sherwood
2. Ned Ryerson
3. Barney Sloan
4. Mary Fisher
5. Dr. Malcolm Crowe
6. Nancy Krigger Weston
7. Mel Cooley
8. Towanda
9. Laurie Strode
10. Khan Noonien Singh
11. Paulie "Walnuts" Gualtieri
12. Neely O'Hara
13. Hattori Hanzo
14. Frau Blücher
15. Benjamin Braddock
16. Bailey Quarters
17. Tom Joad
18. Atticus Finch
19. Ricky Roma
20. Sugar Kane Kowalczyk

Some are easy...some hard....good luck. The prize is bragging rights. Answers have now been posted in the comments section.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Hunk of the day....Goran Visnjic

Monday, January 02, 2006

Sigh!!
My vacation is now over, back to work.
It's never long enough is it?

Sunday, January 01, 2006





Say Cheese!

Very funny video clip from the Tonight Show.....

http://www.youtube.com/player.swf?video_id=vEWLwz6JRNE&l=357&s=B4BC767524
(Screw HTML, tried 3 times to make a hyperlink for this one...no go)



Dang it, I've been tagged!

The Tag: You get one wish of anything, what would you ask for?
I loved Sevej's answer to the desire question below and as a wish is nothing more than a desire, I will steal his answer for this question and the desire question too.

Wish for 6 more wishes. Well, ok, but none of then will be for me specifically.
1. A cure for cancer.
2. Happier marriages for some of my friends (sad).
3. Good health for my Mom & Dad.
4. An end to G.W.'s senseless war.
5. I wish all the child molesters into the cornfield.
6. No devastating disasters in 06.

What animal would I be? A cat

Something you want to do in your life: Love and be loved.

One song you could listen to over and over again: Inna godda davida by Iron Butterfly

Coke or Pepsi? Definitely Diet Coke.

Something you currently desire: The Buddha suggests that desire leads to suffering, so I'll pass on this one.

One good deed you've done lately: Played secret Santa to a family I don't know and didn't sign my name so they could not reciprocate.

A funny moment in your life: When I washed my Mrs. Beasley dolls hair with comet cleanser and it turned green.

I’m supposed to tag five other people, however, being tagged is just like getting a chain letter so I will stop this insanity now!!!!