Missed Opportunities

Sigh! I always seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time which means I miss golden opportunities, such as marrying the man of my dreams. Or should I say men of my dreams.

First off was Chris Robinson. No, not the rocker, a boy from 3rd grade, no pic available. I thought he was going to be the one but one day I told him a dirty joke and he said I was a sinner and was going to hell. No love connection there.

Second was Donnie Keene from junior high, here's his pic. Ok, it was the 70's, fooseball was in. I wanted to marry him. He had an ugly pair of green sneakers so I bought the same pair. Saved up for weeks, just so I could go up to him and say, "Hey, we have the same shoes" just to break the ice. I bought mine and wore them to school on monday. He wore blue ones. In fact he never wore the green ones again. He had a thing for 3 muskateers bars and he'd toss the wrappers on the ground. I would sneak up and retrieve them and put them in my bible. I collected 17 in all. At a party I finally had the nerve to go up to him and say hi. I then walked away and asked my friend Cyndy to go ask him if he liked me. He just thought of me as that "nice, fat girl". I cried for weeks.

Then I raised the bar and decided I was going to be Mrs. Peter Frampton. Yep, me. I had wall to wall Frampton posters. By today's standards, I would be known as a stalker. I would go to his concerts and wait for the moment when he'd look out into the audience, see me and shout out, "Hey, you! Come up here and marry me!" It never happened. Guess the lights blinded him and he couldn't see me.

Then I got married to a boy who followed me around a lot growing up. I loved him but there wasn't any passion so it didn't last, then I set my sights on the next husband...George Clooney. I'm finding it difficult to meet him in person so he can see that I am the woman for him but I won't give up hope. Perhaps I should camp out at his next premier!

In the meantime, I wonder if Donnie is still single. Maybe he's not as picky as he use to be.