Update: It's a girl, her name is Suri, not Elle....oh well.

Katie Holmes is standing by Tom Cruise's Scientology beliefs by not speaking to her own alien spawn for 7 days after giving birth. Katie is said to be pregnant with a girl and according to Scientology rules mothers cannot speak to their children for one week after giving birth.

Katie has also been advised not to make any loud noises during labor as to not stress out baby "L". What do you want to bet they'll name her Elle for that crazy creep?

"L". Ron Hubbard suggests that mothers not have any communication with their babies, so the newborn will not associate their voice with the trauma of birth. I think it's so when they kick Katie off the planet, the baby won't be tramatized by the memory of a voice it will never hear again.

Oh but hearing Tom Cruise's crazy voice will have a calming effect? I don't think so, you just watch, 18 years from now she'll be up in some tower taking pot shots at innocent bystanders screaming "Why did you fuck me up so bad, Dad?"

I swear, if Katies parents are smart, they will put one of those locator chips under her skin so they will be able to find her after Tom has her removed from the picture.